I live less than one minute from a Target. I order delivery about once every other week, and even have access to same day delivery for packages.
So much of my life is immediate. I want a diet coke? I get it. Coffee? My app has my order saved. My banking is even immediate--just a simple snapshot of a check and it's deposited without leaving the comfort of my PJs.
So what happens when life isn't immediate?
Contempt. At least for me.
I vividly remember sitting with my freckled-faced best friend in art class, explaining that I would get married by the age of 20 and finish having all my children by the age of 24.
Maybe I didn't understand the concept of time, but I can't help but think back to my confident self. I did not get married until I was 25, I do not live in the white house my little self envisioned, and I am NOT a mom. Instead, I am still a student. I'm still renting a small apartment...still just waiting.
When everything in life is at the touch of a finger, it can be hard to trust God's timing. I know that I struggle trusting his plan. Logically, I know He is working, but there's a little part of me that acts like she has the terrible twos--stomping her foot, sighing loudly, and snapping her fingers, "remember me God?"
Instead of opening His word, what do I do?
I scroll on my phone.
And guess what I see-- Everyday someone has what I want! Pregnancy announcements. Babies to love. Houses.
I get consumed with contempt.
When you google "contempt," you may see things like eye-rolling, disrespect, disdain, depression, passive aggressive, etc. Contempt might look like your friend getting a promotion, but internally you roll your eyes because you did not think they deserved it. Maybe it's jealousy. Maybe it's bitterness. Maybe a little of both--either way, there's resentment.
When we compare our situations, seasons, to others, we can let contempt creep in our hearts.
In Philippians 4, Paul explains that he had learned to be content in all things. Remember Paul's story? Paul was a prisoner, stoned, shipwrecked, bitten by a snake, and more! Yet, he says he learned to be content! Notice, he did not say contempt--Paul does not compare his sufferings to others, rather his focus is on God and his glory.
This reminds me of Matthew 14. Jesus was walking on the sea, when the disciples saw him and feared. He called to them to calm their fears, and Peter told Jesus to call him out of the boat and onto the water. Jesus did, and Peter walked out onto the water. Notice verse 30--when Peter took his eyes off Jesus what happened? He started to sink, and he called out for Jesus to save him.
The same is true for you and me.
When I compare my season to others and allow contempt to grow, I am not focusing on Him. Instead, I get consumed by the waves. Though it can be hard, I must humble myself to trust that God has a plan and is working (Jeremiah 29:11). I must train and adapt my thinking to be Christ-like, similar to Paul, I must be content in all things.
I must appreciate that I am living in an answered prayer. There was a time that I prayed for everything that I have right now. I prayed to be a wife. I prayed to finish law school. I prayed to love a four-legged fur baby.
How selfish, and honestly, bratty, would it be to expect God to continually give me what I want, when I want it?
God is not same-day delivery.
He is not a mobile order.
He is not the Target less than a minute away.
He is the I AM. He is the almighty, the Creator. I am the creation. I am his child, and I must trust his plan.
If struggle to trust God's timing or find yourself comparing your life to the greener ones on social media, I hope this serves as a gentle encouragement and reminder: we must actively work on our mindsets and choose contentment.
XO,
Kelsey